I stumbled upon this story on a facebook group of which I’m a member and decided to publish it here (with permission, of course). It’s touching and one of the prevailing issues in marriages this part of the world. Here it goes:
Am I in the wrong here? I’m a mom of two beautiful boys and my marriage just crashed. What happened? I recently got a property in my name in one of these remote, developing areas. My husband found out about it and flared up.
His anger wasn’t just in the fact that I got a land without his knowledge and permission, but that I had the effontery to get it in my name only. He called me a wicked, stubborn wife and threatened to end the marriage. Or that was what I thought it was; a threat.
But I was home few days later when he arrived with his mom and two of his kinsmen and before I could say ‘jack’ my things were thrown out. All my explanation fell on deaf ears. My mother-in-law reiterated I was wicked and an unfit wife. She then proceeded to seize my boys and held on to them as they cried, struggling to come with me.
My eight years marriage has been hell on earth, especially from my husband and his immediate family who never really accepted me. I have withstood years of emotional and verbal abuse, as well as neglect but chose to stay because of my kids. My husband has threatened to divorce me severally, which is why I took to securing myself and my children’s future.
This is not the only property I have. I am part of several susus and co-operatives and I use my part of the money when I get it for fixed investments.
I plan on fighting for custody of my kids as I am truly tired of the marriage myself. However, my mom is angry and says it is the duty of a wife to fight for her marriage and I was in the wrong to keep such an important decision from my husband.
But tell me, was I wrong to secure mine and my children’s future the only way I could think of?
Such issues are sensitive and I usually am at a crossroad what to advise people when asked. But over to you, would you say this lady was in the wrong keeping such a decision from her husband? Also, would you include your spouse’s name when buying a property? Do let us know if you will or if you won’t in the comment box.