Some of us have gone through this at one time or the other. We go out expecting to have a fun day and possibly meet our prince charming, instead, we get approached by a married man.
This was the story of my life a few years back and I remember thinking something was seriously wrong with me. Why couldn’t I attract those good-looking single guys that will make any girl blush? Why was it the married ones who were coming to me?
I talked to a friend about it and as is the custom with most Nigerians (rolls eyes) she suggested I fast and pray.
Huh! Over what naa? Well, she claimed it may be spiritual and the only way to break the jinx was through intense prayers.
Now, while I am in no way undermining the effects of prayers (I am a strong believer in the power of prayer)
, I tend not to see every problem from the spiritual angle. I believe most issues have a ’cause and effect’ pattern and will answer to reasoning. So I went on an intense research to find out why I attracted this set of very unavailable men.
It turned out my outward disposition was the cause of mine. Without meaning to or aware I was doing this, my habit of always wearing a stern look was driving away those great guys and pulling the unavailable ones to me. It was also painting me as a challenge for married men.
Did I change it? A DEFINITE yes and fast too. I also discovered other such similar reasons that attract married men. Here they are
1. You Project an Overly Independent Image
Men are attracted to what they see and sometimes without meaning to or even aware you are doing this, you send out vibes that pull these type of men in.
Married men prefer this type of women because they know their independent nature will come as a plus. Not only will you be less demanding, you are also likely to be less clingy and won’t require or demand a commitment he can’t give.
2. You are Insecure
An insecure woman is an easy catch, so say a lot of my male acquaintances. She’s not high maintenance and you can get her with very little persuasion. It doesn’t matter if your insecurity stems from a previous bad relationship or a lack of interest from men. What matters to this married man is that you are available and he can get you with ease.
3. You are Successful
Being successful in your career is something we all crave and when you attain this height, you get thrusted into a world that is dominated by married men and this constantly places you within their line of vision.
4. You are Beautiful
Although a beautiful woman attracts a lot of men, most single guys may be intimidated by her beauty and would be content to admire her from afar. A close male friend once told me ‘a beautiful woman is never for just one guy’ and he would much rather go for a quietly pretty woman.
5. You are Superficial
If you get attracted to big flashy things, you just might be sending away a single guy. The way most guys see it is that you are high-maintenance and they would rather not embarrass themselves by starting something they most definitely cannot maintain.
A married man, on the other hand, may have the dough and the confidence and will approach you.
Can You Change This?
Most definitely. Most times making a slight character or habit adjustment usually see this problem fading away. In a lot other cases, this issue will resolve itself without any input from you.