Before I got married, I had this notion that marriage was a union where you get hooked to the love of your life and you both live happily ever after (don’t blame me, I grew up on romance novels and magazine). However, the first week of my marriage was a major learning curve for me. I had the rug pulled out from under my legs; literarily.
While I wanted the fairytale notion to extend a bit longer, hubby dearest had a different idea; there were bills to be paid so reality had to start way sooner.
Along the line, we both re-learned each others and made adjustments, and I got to learn a vital lesson for marriage success: love is not enough.
You see, most couples start their marriage on the basis of intense love for each other, nothing more. And when they get to rocky times (which they most certainly will) this love is never enough to tide them through.
There are so many other ‘ingredients’ which a marriage needs to be successful. Some of these are:
You both may have great qualities and characters, but if you aren’t compatible, that marriage is likely doomed from the onset.
You will find that even with all the love you will struggle to keep a smooth balance in the relationship.
– Mutual Respect
Men love respect; it is like the air they breathe. Dis-respecting your man is the fasted way to alienate and make him withdraw from you.
Also, while respect may not be a major need for us women the way love is, no woman wants to be disrespected by her husband, especially in public.
– Similar Moral Values
Having similar moral values is being on the same page and will likely strengthen your marriage.
– Open Communication
Keeping things bottled up inside will only make them fester and breed resentment. Resentment is a major love killer and should be done away with. Since most people are not mind-readers, you should let your spouse know when something bothers you.
Another ingredient that should be in a marriage is trust. Love and trust go hand-in-hand and you should guard it carefully. Once trust is broken in a relationship, it is most often very hard to restore.
The saying: ‘One with God is a majority’ is so true when it comes to marriage. There will be challenges in marriage, no matter the love, trust, or communication system set up, but choosing to invite God into your marriage will make you overcome whatever may come your way.