There’s a new couple in my building who argue at very odd hours of the day. Your ears literarily start to ring when they begin and if you listen well enough, you can pick out a few of the angry words they hurl at each other as they go all-out to paint very graphic descriptions of each other.
The amazing part of this drama is that they actually appear content and at peace with each other, which is a clear indication that there is no blueprint for a successful relationship.
Through studying couples and interacting with relationship experts, it has become evident that arguments don’t necessarily have to be a bad thing; they are actually good and beneficial to your relationship.
Here are four ways arguing with your partner, colleague, friend, or sibling can help build your relationship instead of destroying it:
1. It Strengthens Relationships
As people, we all have our way of thinking or getting things done. When you make a new friend, you get along nicely, but overtime, your differences start to show and this is when you are likely to argue.
Arguing over your differences lets you know what each other’s views, likes, and dislikes are so you know just how far to go. As you get to know each other’s boundaries and your relationship becomes stronger and better for it.
2. You Feel Better Letting Off Steam
Bottling issues inside instead of discussing them is bad for the health and growth of your relationship. What happens when you do this is that you develop feelings of resentment towards the other and it gets to a point where you can’t hold it in any longer and you explode. At such times, you are likely to bring all the vile and venom you feel to the front and say hurtful things that could damage the relationship beyond repair.
3. It Makes You Healthy
Choosing not to argue when you should also works against you in that it makes you sick. Not arguing increases the level of cortisol in your system which could be bad for your health.
Cortisol is actually an essential and helpful hormone that controls your blood sugar level, regulates your metabolism, and balances your salt and water content. However, your body needs just so much to function optimally and an excess amount could cause minor to major havocs such as constant backaches, headaches, insomnia, fatigue, uncontrolled weight gain, nausea, and a weakened immune system.
4. It Improves Your Character
Knowing a person’s boundaries and learning to get along makes for a better and stronger friendship. It also improves your character and makes you a better person in the long run. This is because you become more conscientious, patient, and a better team-player.
While arguing is beneficial to your relationship, you should understand that there is a right and a wrong way to argue. Throwing angry, vile, and derogatory words at each other will do more harm than good.
A right way to argue is to walk away when you are clearly upset and come back when you are much calmer. You also don’t want to argue over every little issue: you should weigh your fights and only pick what counts.